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Feeling Left Behind (a ramble/reflection)

We live in a world where social media is important, we use it to catch up with friends, to entertain ourselves when we’re bored and I use it to advertise my blog. However, sometimes it can have a detrimental effect on us;

This week, on various social media platforms I have seen photos pop up of old friends from school graduating from University. I am of course happy for them but that doesn’t stop the green-eyed jealousy monster rearing his ugly head up.

I will admit that I get pangs of jealously when individuals back from my year group are not only graduating, or travelling the world, or starting families (although I feel its too early for me). I can’t help feeling left behind.
I am only in my first year of University, I haven’t travelled the world and had to take 2 extra years before I went to University. This was because of my mental health. My mental health has held me back.

I have spent a lot of times thinking about this “feeling left behind” over the past week and I have managed to reflect and find some positives in my situation;

Yes, I am not graduating this year but I have got 2 more years to enjoy with my University friends, to enjoy myself and to enjoy the struggles of Student life without having work full-time just yet! I am also going to use this jealousy as motivation. My biggest goal in life is to graduate, so, I want to spend the next two years studying and actually attending lectures so I get to where I want to be. Working hard but having fun alongside it.
I also need to remind myself that I’ll have plenty of time to travel, and start a family, when the time is right.
I also know deep down that I needed those 2 extra years.  I could not have gone to University back in 2016, due to the state of my health I would have almost certainly dropped out and I guarantee I wouldn’t have gone back. In those 2 years, I met some great people too whom continue to influence me and who I strive to make proud.

Yes, my mental health has held me back from so much. I have lost years of my teenage years because of my illness. I have lost friends whom just didn’t understand. I have scared people too. Slowly though I am turning the negative into a positive. I know now that I want to be an art therapist, to help vulnerable individuals to express themselves. I am almost certain that I wouldn’t have found this dream career without being ill (silver linings). One day I WILL get there. I finally believe in myself and my ability.

Essentially what this post is saying is that life is not a race. Although it’s hard to think it when I’m have a down “left behind” moment, we are all on our own journeys. My life is mine, I should not let social media influence the way I feel about it. I will get there eventually. For now, I will turn the jealousy into motivation. I will flourish and one day be the person I want to be. This will be for me, I am finding myself.